You are not alone. We all make parenting mistakes. Often. Don't beat yourself up. Just learn from it. Try to do better next time. Forgive yourself. You will find your children are very forgiving. I can't count how many mistakes I have made, but when I apologize, all is forgiven, and we even laugh about it together. Often the conversations that happen after the apology are very precious and build your relationship even stronger. If you keep making the same mistake over and over, just keep trying. Do not give up. You will get stronger over time and as you get more sleep. I remember I would sometimes get grumpy at my kids when they kept getting out of bed at night. A short fuse from little sleep. But all that has gone away. I got better over time....and you will too. Forgive yourself. You will get stronger and your parenting skills will grow with time and experience. I know this from my own experience. Today I found myself not getting angry when my child made unreasonable demands in a rude voice. I calmly told her the right way to ask me, and she immediately fixed the problem with no drama. I thought...boy I've come a long way, to be able to do that. And you will to.
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